Wednesday, May 19, 2010


When I think of happiness, the only thing I can picture is my niece’s drawing of our family holding hands with green grass, a yellow sun, a blue house and an array of red smiles. I often wish I could just instill myself in that state of happiness or love or whatever the hell you want to call it. But it seems as if all I can ever think of is “What if the grass turns yellow? The sun turns green? What if the house turns red and the smiles turn to frowns and the frowns turn blue?”

We are always trying to find this eternal state of happiness; to be content. We are in a constant pursuit of the drawing that will set us free. Some people try to find it through their careers, their religion, their one love, intoxication, or even just new connection. We do have our ups and downs, but has that ever stopped us? The fact that maybe the grass just might be greener on our side is thrilling enough.

Anyway you want it, the one thing that scares us the most is finishing your drawing, looking at it, and realizing you can’t draw for shit.

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